Oh the Joys

So this is just a quick run through of what goes on in my head these days...medication...give this one a half hour before a feeding, give this one right after a feeding give this one an hour before that one, these two you can give together, give this one twice a day, give that one four times a day... 1 ml, .45 ml, 1.5 ml, 1 ml...feed him this much every four hours, don't forget the extra 1/2 tsp. of formula, gotta make it 24 cal not 22...don't forget to feed Kainen. Breakfast, lunch, dinner...don't forget the snack in between, make sure you pay attention to him, play with him, read him stories...I have to make an appointment for this, I have to pay that bill tomorrow...dishes, laundry...clean up spit up because I gagged Miles giving him yet another dose of meds. Miles is sleeping, go check, make sure he's breathing. Oh I forgot I was going to put a puzzle together with Kainen...Kainen not right now I'm feeding Miles. Kainen not so loud your brother is sleeping. Kainen please be careful. Sometimes I want to scream. It's amazing how draining it is.

Yeah I might be complaining but at the end of the day I feel so blessed to have Kainen who is the most wonderful boy. The best brother. So caring and loving and helpful and fun...Miles who we've been through so much with but here we are at home. He's healthy...the meds are only for minor things. We are so blessed to have a micro preemie that has no major issues. So far. He's a joy to have around. He has such a personality. He's so much like his brother. And then there's Dave who has supported me through everything. EVERYTHING. He's been so strong, for me, at his weakest. I love my life and I am so grateful for where we are and I am so grateful for how we got here no matter what the circumstances are. Whatever the price, I'll pay it if it means being this blessed in the end.